Pregnant Pick-Pockets

In Czech, the title is "Důležitý Kapsář". At least so says the internet. Not quite the alliterative ring of english.

I've been seriously jet-lagged. My travel here to Prague lasted about 30 hours, including 6 hours at the San Francisco airport, and another 6 of forced-waking in Prague, waiting for my lost luggage to be delivered to me. I woke up the other night at about 3am, and went out wandering.

At about 5 in the morning, I was walking back home, eating a stange-but-delicious potato pancake that someone had managed to stuff a pork chop into. Coming down the street, a pregnant lady and her assumed husband. She said something in Czech, and motioned for me to light her cigarette for her (smokers seem to be able to communicate their needs, the language barrier be damned) I whipped out my prize zippo (more on this lighter later), thinking "how cool am I, I have this Alfa Romeo lighter." She then proceeded to lean in close to me, and say something to me that, while incomprehensible, I could only guess was a come-on. I was fairly disgusted, thinking "oh gross, a pregnant prostitute." Then I felt her hand in my right pocket - she was grabbing at a 200 crown (about 8 bucks, for the curious) note there. I knocked her hand out of my pocket, and couldn't think of anything to say in Czech to express my displeasure, so what came out was this vaguely animal noise - something like a high-pitched growl. I'm going to have to sign up for language courses, if only to learn how to tell possibly pregnant pickpockets how to fuck off.

In retrospect, she probably wasn't pregnant, but who would simply hand their lighter to a pregnant lady? You're fairly obligated to do the right thing and light the smoke for her, which I suppose is a big part of her hook. Because she was a really lousy pick-pocket.